How neat...

A few friends have pointed out that I said I was going to start blogging and then I pretty much gave it a half ass effort. There are some reasons for that. First, and foremost, I'm fairly lazy sometimes. I mean I have to sign in and everything...ugh. Second, I am still ambivilant about how much I want to reveal about my life now. It used to be so easy....perfect little American family, cleaning the house, cooking the food, paying the mother fucking bills, raising the kids. Nothing too out of the ordinary. Nothing too controversial.
Now, as much as I am at peace with myself and how I live my life, it isn't so black and white. There is alot of gray out there folks. ALOT. For example, I have been dating people for the past 2 years...even lived with one of them. I am still married. YES I AM LEGALLY MARRIED. Let me say that a little louder because apparantly it does matter to some men....who knew?
There is the wanting to continue being 100% available to my kids vs. the needing a break, for the love of God and everything holy. Its not always pretty and I just don't know what of that to share and what of that will gain me judgement. But you know what...maybe I shouldn't care. And maybe those who judge need to take a long hard look at why they do. I'm guessing if someone feels like I'm calling them a bad parent when I haven't at all they might want to get their panties (or whitey tighties) out of their ass and figure out why they are so defensive. Also, if someone thinks this is my own little private soap box that I can get up on and act all high and mighty....GO READ THE DEFINITION OF BLOG. That is exactly what it is. It is self absorbed. Its a blog for goodness sake. IT is an online journal. Who's life am I supposed to write about...the maintenance man's?
After a couple of my last posts I received this nasty comment (I didn't share it with you all but I should have.) For a while I let it affect me. Then I considered the source.
"how neat! your own little forum to express yourself to the world and give your own point of view of how you only seem to attract losers, pervs, lazy asses...etc. without ever having to step back, look within and let those same people critique the perfection that is you. i want be the one to do it, dont worry...im much too lazy for that. just thought i would check in and see how things were going for pottymouth, i meant pottymomma. better go find my son, i know hes here....somewhere. oh yeah....SUPRISE!!! your cigs are in the back of my truck"
So yeah...
Its not always glamorous. The whole sharing your life, your wounds, your struggles. But I do like havng a record of my thoughts. I do lie having my own little forum to express myself to the world ;)